Over the past few years, I have become more aware of the fact that marriages are under attack. There are countless lies about marriage that are constantly being thrown our way. As the lies weave their way into the fabric of our brains, we start to lose sense of what the truth is about marriage.
Today, I wanted to share lies about marriage and replace them with the truth. My hope is that we can all focus on these truths together. When we start to become aware of the lies, we are better able to fight against them.
5 Lies about Marriage
Marriage should be easy, and if it is not, something must be wrong.
The truth is that marriage takes work. You have to be intentional or your marriage will drift apart and feel empty. There is not one single marriage that is easy. Many of us are thrown for a big surprise when we realize we have to work to keep a healthy and strong marriage.
Action Step: Carve out regular time to connect together. Sit on the couch together to talk, send each other texts during the day, be intentional with the time you do have.
My husband should know what I want and need.
Men are not mind readers. Early on in marriage, I had to be reminded of this constantly. My expectations would constantly get us into disagreements. I have clear memories of working around the house, huffing and puffing the entire time, hoping he would get a clue. Meanwhile, he was completely oblivious. When I finally blew up and said something, he simply said, “I am more than happy to help, just ask.” The more we talked the more he explained that many times it is hard to know if I need help or not. The lack of solid communication is a quick downfall to marriages.
Action Step: Start practicing regular communication with your husband. Communicate what you need. When you start to feel frustrated about something, ask yourself, does he know I need help with this or am I just assuming he knows?
Your children are more important than your spouse.
The moment a child enters into your home, everything is thrown into a whole new world. Suddenly, you are in charge of caring for this beautiful little baby and your heart is filled with such a deep and beautiful love. It is so easy to become consumed with parenting and our kids. However, the truth is that our kids need parents who are loving each other well. We love each other well by making each other a priority. One day, your kids will grow up and move out, but your spouse is there forever.
Action Step: Set aside regular date nights. Whether it is a date at home or a date night out, make a commitment to at least once a month. Acknowledge your spouse when he returns home from work or vice versa. It is necessary for your children to see you making your marriage a priority.
Her marriage is so much better than mind.
With a scroll of fingers, we can quickly see who has fresh flowers, went on an amazing date, or out-of-town with her husband. Comparison can be the thief of a healthy marriage. As always with social media, we must view it with the lens of it is just a snapshot. Instead of comparing, we can be happy for the friend and move forward. Remember, you never know the story behind the flowers.
Action Step: Scroll through social media with the purpose of encouraging on others. Choose joy over comparison.
My husband should make me happy.
Most likely, you married your husband because he does make you happy and bring you joy. However, while your husband should definitely bring you joy, he should never be the sole source of your joy. The only one who can ever bring about complete joy is God. The more we put this expectation on others, the more we will be disappointed.
Action Step: Spend time with God on a regular basis. When we are seeking Him, we will be fulfilled and stop looking to others to fill us.
Marriage is a beautiful gift from God. I want to be the old couple you see who is deeply rooted in love. To have that kind of love, we have to let go of the lies and embrace the truth. Let’s step forward into choosing to believe what is true about marriage. What lies about marriage are you believing?
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