Motherhood is not what I expected it to be. Over the past year, I have been working on redefining motherhood and what I view it to be.
I didn’t know the feelings would be so big, so deep, so intense. The love I feel for my children is indescribable. At the same time, motherhood is just so different than I envisioned. Over time, I am learning to accept that I am not my mom, I am not my aunt, I am not my mother-in-law, I am not my friend.
I am me.
Friends, the problem I run into is that I start to compare my motherhood journey with others. I wonder how others make it look so easy and they have double the children I have. I wonder how others find time for the things they do. The wondering will go around and around in my mind spinning lies as it swirls.
The other day, I started wondering again as I was elbow deep in a sink of soap suds battling a baking dish. I started thinking about all the women that I know who are moms. Sorting through them all, I noticed how different each woman was. It wasn’t a great revelation or anything mind-blowing and still it stuck with me.
Somehow, in the midst of my motherhood journey, I had started to think there was only one way to do it all. Often, I became lost in a sea of articles, advice, and comparison trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and how I could do it better. My problem wasn’t in my mothering ability, it was in how I was defining motherhood. In that soap suds filled moment, I realized it was time to redefine motherhood.
Motherhood is not one formula.
We are all so different and unique, created in God’s image. Each of us have amazing gifts and talents and these things can be used to benefit our mothering. Since we are all so different, we will all take different paths and make different decisions. But in the end, we all have a common interest. We all love our kids and would do anything for them.
My journey may look different from yours. I am going to make different decisions, focus on different things and let go of different things. As I sit and work on redefining motherhood, I realize there is so much freedom in letting go. Instead of trying more and working harder, I can just be me.
Some of us may work outside the home, some may work in the home, some may nurse, some may use formula… the differences go on and on. Instead of arguing and commenting on which way is the right way, we can let go of it all. All of those things do not define motherhood.
Motherhood is not defined by whether you work or use cloth diapers.
I truly believe that we can all be amazing moms who are enjoying the seasons of motherhood, if we embrace who we are in Christ. Instead of defining motherhood by others, we can find freedom in being our beautifully unique selves.
As you go about your week, I encourage you to let go of anything that is hindering you as a mom. Embrace who you are and be yourself. Your kids need you- yes, you full of all of your imperfections. Throw off the lies, the comparisons and start redefining motherhood with me friends.