Learning the importance of grieving is necessary as we take steps to heal.
The importance of grieving is essential to us all. Taking the time to grieve is extremely important whenever you lose someone or something. Currently, our world is full of constant losses and we are all grieving something.
Over the last week, I have reflected on many little things that I miss. While, I am enjoying this time at home and the slower schedule, there are so many little things, seemingly ordinary that I miss. Mainly, I miss life when we did not have this looming unknown over our heads.
There are countless things that I took for granted- gathering at church, soccer games, heading to a park, meeting a friend for coffee, the list goes on and on. It all seems so ordinary, and now I see it all as little extraordinary moments.
In the grand scheme of things, my losses are minor in comparison to others. However, my seemingly small losses are still losses.
We all have lost something during this time.
This is not the time to compare losses or figure out who is having the hardest time. There is not a trophy for the one who lost the most. Instead, we need to grieve what is gone and know that with grieving comes many emotions.
There is denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. Grief is never a linear process, instead, we can jump from one phase to another and then back again.
Right now our world is grieving which is why there is an importance of grieving at this time.
There are so many emotions and often they are being processed right on social media. It seems noisy and stressful at times reading all of the emotions. Scrolling our endless feeds takes our emotions on a roller coaster. Yet, we are doing the best we can. None of us have done this before. We are trying to process, make sense, regain control, and so on.
But in the midst of these emotions, how do we grieve well?
The Importance of Grieving: Tips to help us grieve well
Take the time to reflect on what you have lost.
If we do not take the time to reflect and instead push away the pain, we will simply create more pain down the road. It is vital that we all take time to think about what we have lost. This may be a daily thing or a reflection over time as a whole. It is going to be unique to each of us. The point is that we acknowledge what has been lost.
Know that grief will trigger many different emotions.
As you grieve, you will go through the different phases and with those come different emotions. One day you may feel strong and the next you may feel completely defeated. The emotions are normal, but we do not have to remain stuck there.
Embrace your personal grieving process, and let others have theirs.
Everyone grieves differently. Some will want to talk about everything at first, while others will be internally processing. It is important to embrace how you grieve and to also let others grieve in their own ways. Just like we cannot control what is going on in the world, we cannot control others.
Take care of yourself.
As you grieve, continue to focus on taking care of yourself. This means caring for your physical self through exercise, walks, drinking water, etc. It also means caring for your spiritual self by praying, listening to worship music, reading the Bible.
Be mindful of what you are sharing.
As you grieve, you may be tempted to share every moment of the process publically via social media. While this is not necessarily bad, a helpful rule of thumb is to ask yourself two questions before posting.
- Why am I posting this?
- How does this help others?
When I ask myself these questions there have been times where I have realized I was posting out of anger or trying to get a point across. We are not going to change anyone’s mind by posting something controversial or anger-filled on the internet. All we do is create more tension.
If you feel the need to share, do so with a trusted friend and process through your thought together.
Serve others well.
Right now we are in a unique place because we are all grieving something. Now is not the time to compare stories or one-up each other. Now is the time to walk alongside someone (virtually) and offer support. We can have grace with others and serve one another by respecting each other’s emotions.
There is a great importance of grieving and as we go through times of loss, we can focus on grieving well. Loss is never easy or quickly processed, but by taking the healthy steps, we can grow through times of loss.
Hello Keri.
I am a Rara (grandma language to my grandson) and I can relate to what you are saying here. I have three daughters and now two of them with children. Grieving is about the preciousness of life. It does not have a time limit. I must be fate that I cross your path today as our Bishop here on the island talks about Psalm 23 as he speaks about loss. He reminds us that we are not alone even in darkest times. He also reminds us that while darkness falls, life continues. To find in some way the glimmer of hope. You are right grieving has many stages and it is not for us to decide how or when or where or what we grieve but that we allow ourselves and others to grieve. I like that you say to grieve well. Life is precious always.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so glad you have.